The Gas Grabber- I bet a vegan invented this

I'm Being Tested

My stomach hurts pretty much all the time.  I don't know if it's the carbs or the fiber but this has wrecked my GI tract.  To quote The Hoff (a co-worker) "being vegan turns you into a salad shooter".  Does your body adjust? I have no idea but this sucks.

On Saturday we went to a benefit dinner in Tacoma for police and fireman chaplains.  Luckily I ate beforehand- they served prime rib as big as my face and a salad drowning in egg, cheese, and bacon.

Then on Sunday we went to church (yes, I actually went to church) and there was a brunch that had several kinds of cheesy potato casseroles and 4 kinds of sausage.  I ate the fruit.

On one hand I get some satisfaction from sticking to this and having some self-control.  On the other hand I feel like an idiot.  I have to pass up all of this awesome free food that I used to love and I hate telling people that I'm trying veganism because I used to think those people were ridiculous.  I thought everyone only did it to be trendy and self-righteous and I'm afraid people are thinking that about me.

18 Days In

The last "animal product" I had was a turkey and cheese sub on the night of the 2nd presidential debate on Oct. 7th.  This whole vegan thing was not a well thought out decision on my part.  I did it really suddenly after reading 2 chapters of the book Skinny Bitch; one about all of the pesticides and hormones that are in animal products and non-organic produce, and one chapter that was a bunch of horrible stories told by former mega-farm and slaughter house workers.  

The first week I was STARVING because I had no idea where to find vegan products or what exactly I could eat besides fruits and vegetables.  (And I hate tofu)  My pants got loose so that was nice, but I was thinking I wasn't going to make it because I felt like I was going to pass out when I was running around at work.  The thing that turned it all around was finding Tofutti Better than Cream Cheese.  I swear it tastes just like cream cheese- it is so damn good!  I put it on everything.

Now I have found a lot of stuff I can eat, but it kind of sucks because I really feel like I have ended up gaining weight.  Most of the things I can eat are carbs and I feel like I'm getting love handles.

My goal is to be really strict for 30 days.  If I gain weight I may ditch the diet after that.  We'll see.  Wish me luck!

Sharks with Lasers

So I'm in the process of having every hair, from my neck down, lasered off of my body. Until now it has gone perfectly. I'll never shave my armpits or "bikini line"again. I had my legs done for the first time about 2 weeks ago. The laser works by destroying anything with pigment (hair) at a depth of 890 nanometers.... so the perfect candidate is someone with balck hair and extremely pale skin (i.e. ME).  These are pictures of what happens when the laser hits the pigment of a tattoo, which is obviously not supposed to happen. (You can see she hit the antenna a little bit too)

The owner was very nice, apologized profusely, gave me a bunch of free massages and microdermabrasion, and is going to pay for me to have my tattoo re-done.